Sunday, November 3, 2013

Status Update. Also- I'm extremely long-winded.

I have started 4 different posts this week. Finishing them feels daunting, so I am going to skirt the issue and give you something much lazier: a post in Facebook updates.

Yes I know, Facebook is the epitome of what is wrong with our society. We don’t feel the need to pick up the phone and call people anymore because we know what’s going on in their life from Facebook. We see who they’ve married, where they’re hanging out, and probably know a thing or two about what races they run/animals they hunt/Sunday night TV shows they’re obsessed with. Facebook is the root cause of the FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) phenomenon, first cousin to “Everyone is having more fun/happier/healthier/better off than I am” syndrome. Facebook timelines aren’t real life, they’re highlight reels. With the exception of your highly-opinionated college classmates who feel obligated to make a public service announcement about the decline of society’s intelligence/manners/taste on a regular basis, most people post their high points. Weddings. Reunions with friends. Nights out. Costume parties. Delicious dinners. Kitchen wins. Race PRs. Most people don’t post the other stuff: the meal they put in the crockpot but forgot to turn on when they left the house. Their worst race time ever because something about that second Gu just didn’t sit right and they were forced to take the scenic route by every porta potty on the course. Nobody Considerate people don’t post about their average Wednesday when they went to work, got three bills in the mail, and realized they’ve gained 4 pounds since the last time they stepped on the scale. They don’t post pictures when they go out to dinner at Panera wearing an average outfit or a less than stellar ponytail. Who wants to tell the world when they’re at anything less than their best?

Where is this tangent going? I meant for this to be quick.

My point is, I try to be selective in my status updates. Really great pictures (Like when Buster takes up residence in my lap alongside my laptop as I work. Go find that one, it’s adorbs.)   Or when Kaija is in town. (Because, really, my niece is by far the coolest/cutest/most interesting member of my family at the moment.) Sometimes I post when something extraordinary happens to me and it simply has to be shared with people other than Seth. (Like the time I found my jewelry in a moving box from when we moved. 4 months earlier.)

I try not to post about vacations or being out of town because 1. We don’t go on vacation. 2. If we did, should I tell the whole world my house is empty? I also try not to post pictures of my meals (Cliché. Boring.), my run stats (Because no one cares), or about the fact that “OMG it’s dark so early!” (If you’re old enough to be on Facebook, you’ve experienced the Daylight Savings Phenomenon a time or two.)

You know what I do like about Facebook though? (Aside from the fact it relieves you of any obligation to attend high school reunions because you already know who has gotten married/fat/skinny/pregnant/extremely religious/extremely successful…)
Random thoughts. The ability to mass inform people in your peripheral circle about milestones without having to call/group text a ton of people. The ability to promote small businesses and make connections in your community. The opportunity to share brief deep, or not so deep, thoughts.  Here are some of mine that I didn’t share in the past few weeks. I sometimes think in statuses these days, but if I posted them all, people would think all I did was hang out on Facebook all day.

Day 5 of wearing men’s deodorant. Seriously need to go to the store.

The leaves are turning! Fall weather is the best for running! I love Richmond!

All my clothes stink. I’m tired of sweating.

Welcome to Groundhog Day, where all you do is shower, blow-dry your hair, and apply makeup. Over. And over. And over.. And over. Again.

I’m not ready to think about Christmas shopping or outfits for holiday parties, but I am PUMPED to decorate this house for Christmas. #wehaveamantle

Seth impresses the heck out of me. He works on furniture all day, most nights, 6-7 days a week, then comes home and reads books about furniture. Huge books. And he’s not just looking at the pictures.

Many runners get all antsy and anxious when taper time rolls around, bewildered by all the extra time they have on their hands. I’m all like “No alarm clock!” and “Can I still eat candy every day and button my work pants?”

This week is Seth’s birthday and the 4-year anniversary of our first date. Cause for celebration. Also cause for wondering how is time possibly moving that quickly?!

And that concludes possibly the most pointless blog post I’ve ever written. Thank you for reading. You may now resume scrolling through Facebook.

1 comment:

  1. As per usual, this is both clever and entertaining. Enjoy every moment of taper.