I’m a planner. I make lists and plans and have so many ideas about all of the things I want to accomplish. I’m of the opinion that I do not have as much time as I’d like to accomplish all of these things, so my best chance is to maximize every single day and get as much done as possible. It’s hard for me to rest when I know the ‘to do’ list looming just around the corner (specifically, in the kitchen sink). It’s hard to feel calm and in the moment when I know that about 482,000 moments from now (that’s like 5 days, right?) our accountant is going to need to see some very specific documentation.
I firmly believe that yes, I can work, workout, go to church, see friends, keep a neat (clean?) house, eat real food that isn’t bad for me, be there for my family, spend time with friends, devote time to the organizations that mean something to me, be involved, have quality down time, and a reasonable amount of sleep all in the same week. Sometimes that’s pushing it. But if I’m smart, I make my lists, look at my calendar, I can do things like run at 5:30 am. Bake cookies a week ahead and freeze them. Go to the post office during lunch. Update QuickBooks during a Christmas special. Count hard boiled eggs and green smoothies as real food. Deem a ponytail acceptable for work and devote am shower time to a round of laundry and last night’s dishes. Errands/house chores with family count as quality time.
If I can make time for the things I
need get to do,
I can certainly find time for the thing I want to do. Despite all the
lovely articles, advice, and highly scientific evidence about the importance of
taking care of yourself and making yourself happy first, the rest of the world
does not always seem to be of the same mindset. Everyone, no matter how giving,
self-less, compassionate, or wonderful, cares about their own agenda. My boss
wants my work done. Done well and done early, even better if I did a little
extra for good measure. The committee I sit on wants emails answered, great
ideas, and passionate energy to recruit people, speakers, and sponsorship. God
wants me to do good and be grateful- to care for my loved ones, my neighbors,
and my community. My pants want me to cut back on the toast and work lunches.
My dentist wants me to cut back on the Swedish fish. Buster wants to be fed and
have access to squirrels, preferably in an area where he does not have to get
his paws wet. Dominion and American Express want me to pay on time. Or late,
with a fee.
I don’t want to use the things that are a given as excuses to why I can’t accomplish the things I want for my life. I suspect it only gets harder when there are actual children (as opposed to four-legged children) needing to be watched/fed/raised. If I don’t figure out balancing my responsibilities with my aspirations now, I don’t like my odds later on.
So if the universe could just get on board, people could adapt to my schedule (Post Office hours later than 5pm? 10 hour work days to give us 3 day weekends every week? DO THINGS WHEN YOU SAY YOU’RE GOING TO DO THEM) that would be great. Until then, I’m asking Santa for lots of yoga to work on my flexibility and appreciation for being in the moment and being at peace with the world around me.