I'm long overdue for a running post. Here it is.
We all have those moments when we take a step outside ourselves and ask, "What am I doing?" (Depending on the activity, there may or may not be a word your wouldn't say in front of your grandmother in that question.) You find yourself running by the light of the moon at 5:30am to make sure you get that run in before spending a full day in the car driving. You look up as you round yet another switchback on a one mile gravel track and question your sanity. You look up an insanely steep, rediculously long hill and charge it, telling yourself that you only have to run to the top. And then you do it again and again as the 'rolling foothills' become baby mountains.
These moments aren't reserved for running. It's the moment you are on your back porch in your pajamas at 3am, shivering, while your dog makes an emergency trip to the backyard. When you instinctively cup your hands to catch a 3 year-old's vomit, and a beat later, your conscious brain points out that you are in fact holding handfuls of vomit. When you make the meals, do the laundry, clean the house, pay the bills, make the calls, go to bed late, and wake up early over and over again. These moments happen and the answer is always essentially the same.
You do it because you love it/them. You do it because you have faith in the outcome, in the moments after this one. Because you aren't content to live with what happens if you don't. (AKA it just needs to be done). Because you believe in this:
We all have those moments when we take a step outside ourselves and ask, "What am I doing?" (Depending on the activity, there may or may not be a word your wouldn't say in front of your grandmother in that question.) You find yourself running by the light of the moon at 5:30am to make sure you get that run in before spending a full day in the car driving. You look up as you round yet another switchback on a one mile gravel track and question your sanity. You look up an insanely steep, rediculously long hill and charge it, telling yourself that you only have to run to the top. And then you do it again and again as the 'rolling foothills' become baby mountains.
These moments aren't reserved for running. It's the moment you are on your back porch in your pajamas at 3am, shivering, while your dog makes an emergency trip to the backyard. When you instinctively cup your hands to catch a 3 year-old's vomit, and a beat later, your conscious brain points out that you are in fact holding handfuls of vomit. When you make the meals, do the laundry, clean the house, pay the bills, make the calls, go to bed late, and wake up early over and over again. These moments happen and the answer is always essentially the same.
You do it because you love it/them. You do it because you have faith in the outcome, in the moments after this one. Because you aren't content to live with what happens if you don't. (AKA it just needs to be done). Because you believe in this:
Mile repeats on the Vita course in Byrd Park were some of the least fun I've had with my CVE/Lulu teammates since training began. The loop is a weird shape, it's gravel, my watch wasn't exactly on board, and... it was mile repeats. My mantra for that run was long and not orginal, but it worked: If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always gotten. Said another way, demonstrated through yoga:
It may be reaching, it may be trying to go too deep when it's all really simple. But whether it's rediculous hours at work to get your business of the ground, spending 48 hours in a van with a group of sweaty people, or spending 2 hours running baby mountains on your vacation, it's all driven by love. Love for what we do, love for our goals, our sport, our friends, our family. When we love them, ourselves, our futures, we will do things that sound crazy when you say them out loud. But when those are the things that need to be done to get where you want to go, nothing could possibly make more sense.
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